Say “Yes!” To Life
Samsara
I am lucky to be one of the many thousands of students who have been uplifted by the teachings of karma yogi SN Goenka. I wrote about my experience meeting Master Goenka earlier this month.
I’m glad I did.
On September 29, 2013, my most accomplished yogi gave up his body, no doubt to help other souls on their journey to enlightenment.
Since his passing, I have been thinking about this experience we all share – the splendor of being alive. Buddha taught that life is suffering, and I am here to say “Yes.”
Yes to illness, yes to the job that we fear, yes to whatever keeps us up at night. The source of your suffering might be a relationship; financial problems; losing a job or the death of a loved one, but whatever it is, say “YES!” as we head into the holidays this year. 
We’ll all be reminded of family members who will not be seated at the table with us because they have passed on. My own father passed 20 years ago. Even the family members who break bread and wishbones with us this year live a life that is rapidly fleeting, just like yours and mine.
But learning to say “Yes” to the impermanence of the people you love this year, during the holiday season, will help you to enjoy their company so much more. Forget about what they should have done, or could have done. Say yes to their so called “mistakes,” and accept them unconditionally. Because it is all too easy to lose ourselves in our technology, to multitask instead of having real conversations. To seek out every possible distraction from the temporary nature of our lives, whether it be fixating on a smartphone or looking at the TV while someone is talking to us.
Those big jets that take us to the places we are from, that’s the only technology we need.
SN Goenka
A Flu Shot for the Mind
Science has extended our physical lives through discoveries about exercise and diet, even going so far as to eradicate smallpox from the world. But while vaccines and antibiotics ensure our physical longevity, what can we do to inoculate our souls against the challenges we face in our day-to-day living?
We can literally, do nothing; stillness is the cardio of our minds. The act of mindfulness, of being aware of your thoughts in the present moment, is like being aware of your blood pressure or pulse. It alerts us as to what we need to work on, and provides us with insights as to the nature of our selves.
“The way to do is to be.”
– Lao Tzu
I like to “be” by incorporating the practice of yoga and mindfulness in whatever I do. We may not have the luxury of living in caves and meditating all day, but even the busiest person can reserve 20 minutes out of his or her day to do so. I was recently reminded of an old Zen adage which proves that the problems of today are the same as the problems humanity faced centuries ago:
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day—unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.”
“Do your duty, Arjuna.”
Krishna to Arjuna, Bhagavad-Gita
The duty of humanity is to shed our divisive past in favor of Love. Love is the essential healing force in a chaotic world filled with alarm clocks, endless meetings and deadlines. However, if we do our duty to ourselves and do the best job we can, our minds will not be self-critical. One’s ego will no longer criticize him or her for not doing enough or not being good enough. So Love is like a flu shot for the mind, preventing us from getting sick with regrets and second thoughts. It allows us to nip our regrets in the bud – which quiets the mind, in addition to calming our bodies.
There’s no wrong way of doing this. All it requires is having the courage to make the decision to open the door to Love for ourselves, and the audacity to reject the non-loving feelings that taint our hearts. It’s a way of giving approval to ourselves. It’s a way of accepting who we are with whatever is working well in our lives at that particular moment. Right now I’m sitting. I’m grateful for that. Whatever is not working well, I’m still grateful for it. I’m grateful for the lessons that I may learn from that. I’m still grateful for the opportunity to do something else.
“To love is to recognize yourself in another.”
Eckhart Tolle
As a coach, I share with my clients strategies to vaccinate themselves against non-loving feelings – in other words, we build an immunity against self-defeating thoughts, laying the groundwork for prevention rather than just sticking a band aid on the problem.
Contact me today to find out more.
Authentique Coaching
Denise K. Bonnaig, Esq.
(212) 374-1511
25 Murray Street
New York, NY 10007
denise@authentiquecoaching.com
You Are Not Your Age
If your body is going to age, does your mind have to age as well? Who said your body and mind even have to age?
Age, as we define it, is just a number. When we meet strangers, they can only guess how old we are. Yet we give such importance to every year, every month of our own age. Even though we really do not feel any different, we’re almost forced to feel different on our birthdays. According to Albert Einstein’s work, a body in motion ages less. It’s not a coincidence, then, that I call myself a “coach”; My job is to keep you moving and to keep you young.
Yoga is an excellent way to keep a body in motion. My practice of Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga strengthens muscles, enhances flexibility and increases endurance. At my yoga classes, boot camps and retreats, I have personally witnessed astounding transformations in my students – just by bringing their bodies and minds closer together. Arms, legs, hands, feet…they have no idea what “43” or “57” is.
It is just as important to nourish our spirits as it is to nourish our bodies. At Authentique Coaching, I work with coachees to tailor successful plans to surmount the various traps and stalemates of modern life. The human spirit yearns for loving feelings, and I will show you how love can interrupt the self-defeating thoughts of an exhausted mind. Changing your thoughts is the only way to change your destiny. Throughout your journey to a lasting happiness you will find that history’s greatest thinkers owed their success to unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. If you are full of thoughts like “I can’t do this” or “I can’t afford that,” then your subconscious mind will take you at your word and ensure that you do not have the ability or money to live as you choose.
If you allow me to, I will demonstrate that happiness isn’t found in winning a conflict or obtaining more money, but rather within yourself. To free your ageless spirit, we’ll first put it to work by letting go of your past. When you let go of your past, you become hootless, where no bad memories or sense of doom ever bothers you.
Every journey starts with the first step. Whether you are 30, 50 or 70, it’s never too late to start moving. Resist being defined by your age. Remember, there is no rule which says you have to tell people how old you are; whether consciously or unconsciously, people will make assumptions about you based on that number. However, if you remain true to yourself, do what you can, and stick with it, the only limitations holding you back will be the ones you put on yourself.
As a mother of three, an accomplished attorney and a sought-after yogini, I am here to tell you that it works, and I am available to share my strategies with you. To take that first step on your journey to lasting happiness, click here.
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Forgiveness
I often hear from coachees: I feel like I’m punch-drunk from growing up with my parents. When will I forget my childhood?
When you come to me with your boxing gloves on, fresh from a battle with life, it might be difficult for you to see that your gloves are actually removable. They may have served you very well, protecting you from the hard, often hostile world around you. As a retired “boxer” I’m here to tell you there’s an easier way.
During our childhoods we develop a storyline that becomes our “operating program”. This is the program that will parse out our lives, feeding us instructions and processing the way we interact with ourselves and other people. Any sort of abuse or neglect which occurred to us as children has a way of embedding itself deep in our hearts and subconscious minds. Unfortunately, more often than not, we do not realize we are carrying these non-loving feelings around with us. (more…)
Coaching, The Natural Thing to Do, And Why It Works
Before embarking on my own self discovery, and the self inquiry process that led to my personal transformation, I was one of those “bring it on” types. I was going to box my way through life, no matter what. And to make sure that I got the proper training, I went to the gym daily, sometimes twice a day and took boxing classes, pumped iron, and ran 40 miles per week while my mind also sprinted through my to do list. There was no time to waste!
Then there was the three hour daily commute filled, as you can imagine, with more checklists and charts, and only lifting my head once in a while to cast a stern look on those people who sat idle letting life pass them by. Elbowing my way through trains and subways, I would get to my office and face my work with the same mantra: Come on girl, come on girl, you can do it, just keep punching, keep hitting, hit harder! That’s a girl!
Late at night, as I laid down, I could see the next day and its load peering at me. It was all about teeth grinding, but I thought this was the only way to live.
- I did not know that the gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach could vanish.
- I did not know I could feel lightness as I glided through my day.
- I did not know that imperturbability could become a way of life.
- I did not know that I could have, be, and do what I chose, when I chose.
Over the years, I have explored and uncovered techniques and strategies that have transformed the lives of many clients and hundreds of attendees to my workshops, boot camps, and retreats. And let me tell you something: they work!
Indeed, I witness my clients transform chaotic lives into happy, effortless, abundant and successful lives, based on my creating a customized blend of spirituality and strategy for them. As I often say to participants, you don’t have to believe what I say, you can check it out for yourself
The strategies I share have worked, and continue to work for me, and others. I have used them through illness. I use them with my three sons and can already see how two of them who are medical doctors apply those strategies to their practice. I have used them to face the thousands of documents I have to read for my court briefs with a grace, and alacrity I could never have imagined. I use them in my relationship with my husband of 30 years, and in all my relationships.
We are the architects of our lives.
Freedom is there for us to grab.
Would you like to take off the boxing gloves? I would love to hear from you and share stories that my clients tell me. Feel free to leave a comment in the box below.