Authentique Coaching

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Connecting through Screens: Strengthening Bonds Despite Challenges!

Connecting through Screens: Strengthening Bonds Despite Challenges!

Long before the Covid-19 pandemic led to preventive measures that normalized social distancing, the doctors in my family were already encouraging me to pause from teaching yoga in order to avoid close physical contact with students. Of course, I resisted until March 14—the day my 4th grandchild was born. Back then (it feels like years ago!), it was hard to imagine how this disease could spread so easily from one person to another. I thought the absence of a cure or vaccine would forever prevent me, and other yoga instructors like me, from leading group classes as we have always done. Then, I remembered one of Baron Baptiste’s key tenets for teaching yoga: “Come to your teaching with a ‘we-are-connected’ mindset.”

Above all, always focus on developing that sense of connection with your students.

Indeed, Yoga is first and foremost about connection. When we practice yoga, we are not only connected to the physical and spiritual aspects of our humanness; we are also connected to the energy created by those we practice with, those with whom we share the same physical space.
Each time I’m in a yoga class as a student, and each time I teach a class, lead a workshop, or facilitate a retreat, I lean into that connection with others. I feed on the energy stemming from every person on a mat, and that energy creates a profound, communally transformative experience.

With the Covid-19 pandemic and mandatory social distancing, I kept wondering whether I would ever feel that connection again, and whether it would be possible to lead a yoga class from a deep place of connection. If anyone had told me that I could still experience that feeling of connectedness that Baron Baptiste talks about, I would not have believed it. I was convinced that we had to wait for the end of social distancing before having real yoga classes again, where through breath and movement, we could be in communion with others.

Thankfully, my students encouraged me to teach online. I resisted at first, as it felt awkward and unnatural to me, but I decided to give it a try anyway. To my great surprise, I quickly moved from frustration to gratefulness. I let go of my reluctance and fed once more on what was overflowing from my computer screen: the sheer joy of seeing each other, the grins, the banter, the virtual hugs… I was overwhelmed by the warm feeling of connection that emanated from these moments before class. Even as I muted everyone to lessen the background noise and focus on teaching, I felt connected. What is more, I felt connected with the added dimension of seeing my students in their element, in their worlds, in their homes—places I could not see when they came to class as usual! Connection took on a whole other meaning. Students allowed me into the intimacy of their worlds, showing up with their bodies, their emotions and the stories they were bearing at that very moment. In the middle of this pandemic, they showed up authentically from where they were, because what is going on, ‘this thing’ that is unfolding in front of our eyes, in our midst every day, is so big, so all-encompassing that there is no other choice but to show up as one is.

Energy, connection! I saw it, I felt it. The energy of their words, but mostly of their gaze, their movement, their down-dog, their up-dog… I experience that deep, beautiful, resilient energy, that Shakti, in the striving that was intensified by what we are all living, much like the warmth we feel from a deep conversation with a loved one who is miles away. I met them where they were, and taught them from a place that acknowledges, honors, and celebrates our connection as human beings, as community members, as beloved family, as members of one human race.

THE EXCAVATED MIND CREATES ROOM FOR MEANINGFUL TRANSFORMATIVE ACTION

When setting goals at the beginning of the year, we do so with a strong determination to succeed.  So why don’t we succeed?  Why aren’t we getting the desired results?

When I conduct group coaching on this theme, every year during my 40 Days of Life Coaching, Power Yoga, Pranayama, and Meditation program, I start with assessing the participants’ states of mind.  The detailed questionnaire I ask them to complete at the start of the program sheds light on the patterns and tendencies of each participant and gives me a clear idea of the work we will need to do.

To ensure success, we work on rewiring the brain, by releasing patterns and tendencies.  When participants begin to change their perspective, they also realize that until they release negative patterns and tendencies the actions taken towards goals are akin to driving with brakes on.

One of the tools that is effective in releasing patterns and tendencies is Authentique’s FUGT coaching model (Forgiveness Unconditional Love, Gratitude, and Trust). It seems simple, but it’s not easy to implement.    The good news is that with practice, each participant develops a clearer understanding of the process.  Clarity creates the space needed to strategize, and to engage in the actions required in order to reach the desired outcome.   Time and time again, during the strategizing sessions, participants begin to let go of the non-loving feelings. This reframing creates a positive and empowering outlook and leaves more space to implement what truly matters.

The key here is that participants begin to understand that there can be no peace of mind when we hold grudges, feel hatred, animosity, experience doubt, and crave approval from others for the choices we make or don’t make.

The other key realization is that to achieve goals without consciously taking meaningful transformative action is not possible. When people feel stuck or give up their goals after purportedly “trying everything, it is generally because they were driving with the brakes on.

Once clarity begins to emerge, and non-loving feelings are released, we become unstoppable and ready to take the necessary action with strong determination because the excavated self is a great engine that drives our actions.

So, what is the appropriate meaningful transformative action?  

There are two types of actions: wholesome and unwholesome.  Wholesome actions do not harm you nor others, but propel you forward.  Unwholesome actions harm you or others, and will drag you down.  Use your powers of discernment to know the difference.

Personal goals are set the same way you would set professional goals. You create a plan with the necessary action steps to get the desired outcome. Remember though that even when we set SMART goals, i.e. goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound, we must commit to taking action.

What amount of action should you take?  You cannot measure it out—Be bold, set your sight high—chances are, if you haven’t reached your goal, you probably haven’t truly committed to the process. 

Taking meaningful transformative action won’t be easy.   In general, people try to use shortcuts or simply don’t realize that you must keep that goal at the forefront of your life and do whatever it takes to get desired results.   If you’re tired, don’t quit—just rest.  And then continue taking small actions daily.  Your old habits will start to feel neglected and create some resistance.  That’s okay; lovingly examine what your habits are trying to tell you, and forgive yourself for having developed those habits in the first place, and let go of the negative feelings.

As you take action, seek out the multitude of counselors that will be supportive of you.  Be in a community that is also committed to meaningful transformative action.  Elevate others and minimize judgment of others.  Respect others’ journeys.

Starting over and over is also a form of taking meaningful transformative action; each time you start over, you are getting closer to your desired outcome.  

Students of Eastern philosophy may ask, why take massive action if we don’t control the outcome of our actions?  Ultimately, the point is to be in action all the time, so that the action and the outcome merge. The point is to be in live action, living a life you love. 

The key is in your hand

The Buddha says to get out of your suffering, you must let go of your attachments, your aversions and your ignorance.

The third one of these concepts, IGNORANCE, is the one that held the key to my own inner freedom.

Ignorance in the sense of not knowing that there is a way out of your suffering, not knowing that you can use your mind to let go of your attachments and aversions. In other words, the knowledge that we can master our mind and navigate our existence with a sense of inner peace.

As I observed when I embarked on this journey years ago, the developments in technology, the invention and discoveries in various fields have brought much comfort to our existence and stretched our imagination beyond the imaginable, yet these breakthroughs have not alleviated human suffering or distress. In fact, the hectic pace of our lives, the uncertainty of our situation- financial and spiritual- are leading to an existential crisis that manifests itself in all sorts of ways- anger, resentment, fear, loneliness, etc.

Could the way out of suffering then involve becoming the master of your own mind through stillness?

All the great teachers of every religion and faith have had an intimate relationship with stillness. They all have in one way or another created a prominent space in their practices for introspective, meditative moments, moments of silence where they journeyed within. The more life pulled them into its noisy spheres, the more they turned within, the more they sought wisdom or solace from an inner space that made them transcendent in our eyes. Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King…

In some traditions, meditation is keeping nothing on your mind, it is the act of emptying the mind of thoughts, feelings, wishes, and desires; in others, it’s the repetition of a mantra, the study and recitation of spiritual texts.

My own path always guides me back to the Vipassana meditation. A meditation tradition that teaches us to cleanse, to purify our mind by introspection. Vipassana means seeing things as they really are. We are invited to become observers, to see and feel what really is NOW. We observe our breath and our sensations in every single part of the body, from the crown of the head to the tips of the toes, with equanimity. And we travel up and down our bodies, scanning non-stop throughout the duration of the meditation.

Does the mind stop its chatter? Of course not. The reality is that the mind is always thinking. But what you will come to realize if you stick to a regular practice, is that by meditating twice daily, you’re training your mind to become aware of the impermanence of life. You notice in the process that nothing lasts forever, that a thought comes, but as you keep observing your breath and scanning your body, the mind quiets a little, then another thought comes then it disappears, and the space between the thoughts increases, and the normalcy of things, ideas, stories passing through, begins to resonate with you, and your attachments and aversions begin to evaporate and dissolve little by little.

You discover that you have the power to control your mind. Thoughts come, you let them go, and more thoughts come and you keep letting them go. Again and again. Just like that. You are the one doing the letting go. Only you have the power to control your mind, and your mind only, no one else’s mind.

No matter what we try, no one can REALLY teach you how to meditate. Meditation is a skill that cannot be imparted intellectually. It is s a skill you acquire experimentally, a skill you embody by practicing regularly.

There is no “wrong way” to meditate. Simply put, you cannot fail.

So, choose to take action. Sit on your mat daily and just do it and see and feel what happens, without expectations. You might surprise yourself and come to the realization that the Vipassana meditation offers tools to help you out of your own ignorance by teaching you how to control and master your mind.  The contents of the mind will no longer bother you as you become aware of and learn to accept the ever fluctuating condition of our human existence.

The key is in your hand, you know what to do to find inner peace, you know what to do to let go of all of your attachments and aversions.

Would you like to invigorate your body and rejuvenate your mind? Come join me for the 40 Days of Life Coaching, Power Yoga, Pranayama & Meditation- which is back by popular demand! Mark your calendars for January 14, 2019 to February 22, 2019. Early bird registration deadline is December 1, 2018. See flyer below. Register @ www.yogastream.net/

 

 

Lessons learned from talking to ourselves

Are we really hearing when people talk to us? Or do we just hear what we want to hear?

Authentique Coaching | Denise Bonnaig, Esq.

Mount Kailash

My younger sister often calls me during her long drives to and from work. The last time we spoke, I must have been going on and on about something when the call dropped and I did not notice. So I was having a conversation with her that she did not hear. It made me realize that when people talk, the conversation is often not about the other person until we’re seeking their approval.

I only noticed that my sister was no longer on the line with me because I was seeking affirmation – in this case social cues like really? or Aha! – otherwise it would feel to me as if I were speaking to myself.  But in this case maybe it wasn’t so bad that she missed what I was saying – she does have a tendency to hold my feet to the fire and undoubtedly would have asked her trademark “Are you practicing what you preach?”

I’ve written before about one of my teachers named Lester Levenson. Lester asserted that all of our thoughts culminate into 3 wants:

  1. Approval
  2. Control
  3. Security

In other words, for everything a person wants to do, or avoid, one of these 3 wants is driving them. This inevitably leads to more self-talking and hopefully the age-old meditation: Who am I?

Having experimented with many meditation schools, I can say that very few people really meditate. Some people who like to use a mantra think they’re meditating, and it works for them, because in the process they quiet their minds and they find peace. The truth is that if you want to reach divinity, concentrating on chants and mantras is not the way because you’re using the mind to conquer the mind.

Meditation the spiritual way is instead about disinhibition, letting go of mind and living in the present moment, and nothing else…certainly not prepping for an argument with my husband! That is probably why I keep coming back to meditation, and it continues to improve my life in new ways.

So you see, talking to yourself like a friend is fine – but don’t forget that the best friends are the ones you can sit with in silence.

Have you ever closed your eyes and dared not to dream?

A Journey to Panna: My Second Vipassana Retreat

dhara27Recently I attended my second 10-day retreat and vow of Noble Silence at the Dhamma Dhara Vipassana Meditation Center in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts. When I arrived at the center I was greeted with a flood of memories from my first retreat last year and the incredible spiritual journey I experienced with karmic guru SN Goenka (Goenka-ji).

This year was different because Goenka-ji had given up his body not long after my first Vipassana experience last year. Hearing his booming chant, this year, knowing that he was in another dimension, was priceless. He was very much alive and fully present.

From 4 am to 4:30 am, your alarm clock is a gong banged by volunteers who serve. The meditation starts at 4:30 am–we meet in the meditation hall. The day ends at 9:30 p.m. Lights are out at 10 p.m. There are approximately 10 or 11 hours of sitting meditation in complete silence sandwiched in between. At times we heard chanting, but were forbidden from chanting ourselves.

Each day the true treat was the evening discourses delivered by Goenka-ji.

Before the retreat even starts, you have to adopt a certain code of conduct which included 5 strong precepts of the Vipassana technique:

  1. The rejection of killing – especially in what we eat
  2. No lying
  3. No stealing
  4. No sex
  5. No intoxicants.

In other words, the senses are not to be indulged at all. For the first 3 days of the retreat, we practiced anapana meditation. The purpose is to tranquilize the mind before embarking on the Vipassana technique on day 4.

  • On Day 4, I meditated alone in a cell within a pagoda — a self-imposed jail. I did not have the big insight that I was hoping for, and yet, that was okay.
  • Day 5 was fabulous and my ego, which was dormant, knocked on the door. It wanted to go home, because I thought I had achieved mastery of the technique.
  • That big ‘A-ha’ moment arrived during the afternoon of day 6 after mud wrestling with my ego. The concept of non-duality is one that I have known for over a decade, and though I understood it intellectually, it was only on day 6 that I experienced it at the cellular level.

Let me tell you what I mean. For example:

dhara17If you can watch sensations come and go, with equanimity (think of a mosquito bite and your urge to scratch it sooo badly), but you know that it will only make it itch more — so you just observe the sensations and don’t scratch it. Because that itch, too, shall pass.

Similarly with your agitating (or itchy) thoughts, you can watch them come and go, without indulging them and being reactive or explosive. You can simply observe them, without attachment or aversion. They will, like clouds, disappear – sometimes those might be storm clouds!

Sitting in the pagoda then, I realized that nothing, and no one, could ever bother me.

As I continued, the connection between mind and body became more apparent. Buddha said, after years of living close to starvation as an ascetic, that one should take care of one’s body. I began to sense the quantum interaction between my mind and the sensations I was feeling in my physical form. My body may have ached from sitting in meditation for hours at a time, but I was determined to keep going, even as I suffered more and more.

Join me next time to discover what happened after day 6!

Say “Yes!” To Life

Samsara

Samsara

I am lucky to be one of the many thousands of students who have been uplifted by the teachings of karma yogi SN Goenka. I wrote about my experience meeting Master Goenka earlier this month.

I’m glad I did.

On September 29, 2013, my most accomplished yogi  gave up his body, no doubt to help other souls on their journey to enlightenment.

Since his passing, I have been thinking about this experience we all share – the splendor of being alive. Buddha taught that life is suffering, and I am here to say “Yes.”

Yes to illness, yes to the job that we fear, yes to whatever keeps us up at night. The source of your suffering might be a relationship; financial problems; losing a job or the death of a loved one, but whatever it is, say “YES!” as we head into the holidays this year. 450px-SriLanka_BuddhistStatue_(pixinn.net)

We’ll all be reminded of family members who will not be seated at the table with us because they have passed on. My own father passed 20 years ago. Even the family members who break bread and wishbones with us this year live a life that is rapidly fleeting, just like yours and mine.

But learning to say “Yes” to the impermanence of the people you love this year, during the holiday season, will help you to enjoy their company so much more. Forget about what they should have done, or could have done. Say yes to their so called “mistakes,” and accept them unconditionally. Because it is all too easy to lose ourselves in our technology, to multitask instead of having real conversations. To seek out every possible distraction from the temporary nature of our lives, whether it be fixating on a smartphone or looking at the TV while someone is talking to us.

Those big jets that take us to the places we are from, that’s the only technology we need.

SNG

SN Goenka

Be the Light and Be Light

Nobody escapes from suffering. We all go through birth, illnesses, death.
But there is a way to live life free of suffering.
– Buddha

SNG

S.N. Goenka

I recently had the pleasure of attending a life-altering experience thanks to the compassionate and kind people at the Dhamma Dhara Meditation Center in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts.

Led by accomplished  karma-yogi S. N. Goenka, the retreat was an exercise in letting go. Letting go of my phone, my journal, my books, my ego and my life. About 100 other people and I had come for a week of silence — we each took a vow of silence. On that first day I never could have guessed where this journey would take lead me.

Day #1

The employees at meditation center confiscated all distractions, starting with our cell phones. I likened it to a doctor washing his or her hands before an operation; I had to get rid of all of the potential pathogens that could infect my mind. And this was indeed surgery of the mind.

DAY #2

Day #2 was not good for me at all. I became tearful and I wept inconsolably. At the same time I experienced such a strong anger, anger at myself — for being too competitive and for not knowing what I was looking for.

What was I looking for?

Day #3

Day #2 was bad, but day #3 was extremely bad- bad beyond bad. Every single bone in my body ached from sitting for so long. Nevertheless, I did my duty and sat in silence while my mind was restless.

Denise Bonnaig, Authentique CoachingI found myself dreaming of ways to escape. Since I love to climb trees, I had thoughts of finding a good tree and jumping off of it to intentionally hurt myself. So I found the right tree and I started climbing. Once up there I realized how foolish it would be to hurt myself. What would I say to a student who wanted to hurt herself?

Obviously I had forgotten everything, all the tools that I teach, my coaching techniques, they all went down the toilet.

Day #4

Finally, I started coming to my senses. My unquiet thoughts started disappearing and I began to understand what the Vipassana method is; it is a technique of being totally aware and using breathing techniques as my guide. I decided I was going to learn the method and leave behind my knowledge of other schools and disciplines. I would get through this by being nothingness.

Day #5

As Goenkaji said, even when you’ve retired to your room, you can continue with the method. Well I started having dreams about my mother, my grandmother and all my relatives who I adore so much. I was basically continuing the method even in my sleep.

It was on the fifth day that I started feeling some healing in my body. This brought back memories of a dear friend who was fighting breast cancer (Spoiler alert: She won!). She said that during her chemo sessions she was able put her best foot forward because she knew that there is a higher power that heals.

If I had to choose one word to describe Day #5, it would be “Fabulous.”

Dhamma Dharā's courtyard garden.

Dhamma Dharā’s courtyard garden.

Day #6

Day #6 was just OK. Half good and half bad. I confronted many feelings that day, not all of them pleasant. I got to thinking about my three sons and how I might have done some things differently. I felt like I may have created unnecessary suffering for my boys, that I failed them in some sense and that’s when the tears came back.

Day #7 and Day #8 were wonderful. Total bliss.

I did however, begin to experience anxiety because it was almost time to go back home. I didn’t want it to end. I had forgotten my life, my kids, my spouse, my job and who I was exactly. I just wanted to stay in that place and just do nothing and be nothing because being nothing feels so good.

And on the last day when we were finally allowed to talk I heard people say “Oh my god, I did it!” But I still didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to remain that quiet — at least until another student told me that I had been her source of inspiration! No wonder I love teaching so much.

Getting back to that life I led before attending this retreat wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be, especially when my husband and youngest son greeted me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I have ever seen. It was Mother’s Day and I was totally present for it.

Oh my god, I thought, every single person should have this experience.

Being Pro-Choice does not necessarily involve politics…

What is consciousness?

Over the ages, humankind’s tendency towards introspection and self-awareness has led our collective consciousness to dwell on the nature of each of our own “individual” consciousnesses. It is a mystery that has entertained the minds of great men and women since antiquity, but great strides are being made today thanks to the unprecedented fusion of different religions and philosophies.

Denise Bonnaig, Being Pro-Choice does not necessarily involve politics...As a Yogini, I work in the trenches with consciousness every day. My job is to help my students tend to their mind, body and spirit. Before each class, I pray my students will reach the highest levels of human consciousness and I can’t help but feel my prayers get answered in every class.

Since my students intend to be loving and kind, I tell them that it begins with envisioning the invisible: loving kindness. There is an old saying, I tell them, “You become what you think about.” If a person wants to be of Love, they must first know Love.

That’s because everything that happens to a person, happens in their consciousness – both figuratively and literally! All of science’s brightest ideas to explain the universe and its many wonders started as seeds in the consciousness of a curious spirit.

Ok…so I’ll repeat: What is consciousness?

I believe that consciousness is the collective experience of all humankind. When I sit down to meditate, there’s nothing but me and you, you and me; we happen to be at different points in our “being-ness,” but we all have passports to go where we choose in the continent of consciousness.

Your relationship with your Self is the key to your mobility; if you don’t love yourself, you will never be able to love someone else.  By the grace of God, or the universe, or whatever one believes, the ability to choose to love is possible.

I often tell my students that meditation is an excellent way to start their journey. Letting the clutter and muddy water of your mind settle will reveal untold treasures within, I tell them – thoughts might  be hard to shake at first, but one is not one’s thoughts. If something negative surfaces, one can let it go just as easily with neither attachment nor aversion. So what is consciousness?

It is what it is.

Bonnaig - pB - Headshot - NC - Jan 18 2013Denise K. Bonnaig, Esq.
Authentique Coaching
(212) 374-1511
dkbonnaig@gmail.com

Breathing in Sedona

2013-03-21_06-50-04_508Earlier this month I made a sort of pilgrimage out to Sedona, Arizona. I went to attend a retreat with my friends who, like me, have been profoundly touched by the teachings of Lester Levenson. The retreat was hosted at the beautiful Sedona Mago Retreat, in plain view of the area’s legendary Red Rocks.

Lester Levenson was a physicist and engineer who, in 1952, came out with a philosophy that was way ahead of its time. Two realizations inspired him:

  • He realized his own feelings were the cause of all his problems – not other people or unfair situations, as he had previously thought.

  • He also realized his feelings were the main obstacles he had struggled against for so long. He saw that this struggle is what destroyed his health and caused him to suffer in every way.

In between workshops where I learned more about the Release Technique that was inspired by Lester’s teachings, I wandered the grounds of the resort. My cell phone didn’t work, and I was just fine with that; I stumbled upon the Healing Garden knowing that New York City would not be able to reach across the continent and remind me that I am Denise Bonnaig, Esq.

Alone, I sat down in the garden to meditate. My practice is to take 108 deep breaths to quiet my mind. With my closed my eyes, my completely relaxed body, and my mind still. I began to let go of sentences, words and thoughts, and I became profoundly aware that this journey was shaping up to be unlike any other I had taken before.

I could literally feel the energy vibrating in my fingertips and toes. My entire body just surrendered. That emptiness, that nothingness, created a sense of amazing love and brought me to the intention that I have had since the beginning of this year: Letting go of all my non-loving feelings. I found myself in a place where I didn’t feel my body.

And then I had the deeper realization that chasing anything will not get you anywhere.

The Healing Garden

The Healing Garden

I stayed there for 45 minutes. Near the end of this amazing session, I was struck by a vision. My long-gone grandmother appeared before me and she was standing next to Lester Levenson. They didn’t say anything, but the vision of them standing together touched me like nothing ever has before.

I left Sedona fortified and recharged, which is good considering the Spring we have been having in New York. But I won’t chase those sunny days. I have other places to be.

 

 

Bonnaig - pB - Headshot - NC - Jan 18 2013Denise K. Bonnaig, Esq.
Authentique Coaching
(212) 374-1511
dkbonnaig@gmail.com

A Little Spiritual Algebra

Denise Bonnaig, Esq. | A Little Spiritual Algebra

Taking responsibility for everything that happens to you is an awesome idea. If you want to improve your Self, you must blame yourself for more of the bad things that happen to you. “Doesn’t that go against everything I have ever learned about improving myself?” you might ask. Well, let me tell you how I came to that conclusion.

Earlier this month I took one of those life-sustaining winter vacations out of cold New York and into the tropics. My destination was Oahu, Hawaii, where I was set to attend the Wanderlust Festival of music and Yoga, which was co-founded by my teacher Schuyler Grant. I also got a chance to catch up with my other teacher and mentor, Baron Baptiste.

It was when I was relaxing on the beach during some down time that I finally, really, noticed the ocean. Pulsating and vibrant like a community, it went from being a really large amount of salty water to millions of unique waves who just happened to be traveling with one another. Some were bigger and took up more space, but there weren’t any quarrels or wars. They were at peace – and so much peace is abundant in the ocean – so much, you can choose to take as much as you want with you.

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
-Lao Tzu

This meditation on the sea had a dissolving effect on the accumulated tightness in my muscles and my mind. Is everybody on the beach enjoying this as much as I am? I wondered. I realized my perspective is unique only to me and it is always within my power to change perspective – so in a sense, it was possible to take responsibility for everything I witness. If I “blamed” myself, then I could fix myself. A little spiritual algebra.

If you are in a relationship and there are things that are not working in that relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friend, whatever it is, you can assume responsibility for the situation, even if it is not your “fault.” The real reason these things are happening is me…an unlikely mantra but one to consider.

As a welcome byproduct, you will find yourself inspired to go about things differently. You will put yourself in charge of your life instead of doing a lot of blaming and claiming. Your intuition will guide you to the things that make you feel good and and if something or someone bothers you, you will have a safe and speedy way of processing it.

And now you see how blaming yourself for everything that happens to you can be a perfectly healthy thing to do.

Densie Bonnaig, Authentique Coaching, Reset Rejoice Repeat

Denise K. Bonnaig, Esq.
Authentique Coaching
(212) 374-1511
dkbonnaig@gmail.com