When setting goals at the beginning of the year, we do so with a strong determination to succeed. So why don’t we succeed? Why aren’t we getting the desired results?
When I conduct group coaching on this theme, every year during my 40 Days of Life Coaching, Power Yoga, Pranayama, and Meditation program, I start with assessing the participants’ states of mind. The detailed questionnaire I ask them to complete at the start of the program sheds light on the patterns and tendencies of each participant and gives me a clear idea of the work we will need to do.
To ensure success, we work on rewiring the brain, by releasing patterns and tendencies. When participants begin to change their perspective, they also realize that until they release negative patterns and tendencies the actions taken towards goals are akin to driving with brakes on.
One of the tools that is effective in releasing patterns and tendencies is Authentique’s FUGT coaching model (Forgiveness Unconditional Love, Gratitude, and Trust). It seems simple, but it’s not easy to implement. The good news is that with practice, each participant develops a clearer understanding of the process. Clarity creates the space needed to strategize, and to engage in the actions required in order to reach the desired outcome. Time and time again, during the strategizing sessions, participants begin to let go of the non-loving feelings. This reframing creates a positive and empowering outlook and leaves more space to implement what truly matters.
The key here is that participants begin to understand that there can be no peace of mind when we hold grudges, feel hatred, animosity, experience doubt, and crave approval from others for the choices we make or don’t make.
The other key realization is that to achieve goals without consciously taking meaningful transformative action is not possible. When people feel stuck or give up their goals after purportedly “trying everything, it is generally because they were driving with the brakes on.
Once clarity begins to emerge, and non-loving feelings are released, we become unstoppable and ready to take the necessary action with strong determination because the excavated self is a great engine that drives our actions.
So, what is the appropriate meaningful transformative action?
There are two types of actions: wholesome and unwholesome. Wholesome actions do not harm you nor others, but propel you forward. Unwholesome actions harm you or others, and will drag you down. Use your powers of discernment to know the difference.
Personal goals are set the same way you would set professional goals. You create a plan with the necessary action steps to get the desired outcome. Remember though that even when we set SMART goals, i.e. goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound, we must commit to taking action.
What amount of action should you take? You cannot measure it out—Be bold, set your sight high—chances are, if you haven’t reached your goal, you probably haven’t truly committed to the process.
Taking meaningful transformative action won’t be easy. In general, people try to use shortcuts or simply don’t realize that you must keep that goal at the forefront of your life and do whatever it takes to get desired results. If you’re tired, don’t quit—just rest. And then continue taking small actions daily. Your old habits will start to feel neglected and create some resistance. That’s okay; lovingly examine what your habits are trying to tell you, and forgive yourself for having developed those habits in the first place, and let go of the negative feelings.
As you take action, seek out the multitude of counselors that will be supportive of you. Be in a community that is also committed to meaningful transformative action. Elevate others and minimize judgment of others. Respect others’ journeys.
Starting over and over is also a form of taking meaningful transformative action; each time you start over, you are getting closer to your desired outcome.
Students of Eastern philosophy may ask, why take massive action if we don’t control the outcome of our actions? Ultimately, the point is to be in action all the time, so that the action and the outcome merge. The point is to be in live action, living a life you love.