Taking responsibility for everything that happens to you is an awesome idea. If you want to improve your Self, you must blame yourself for more of the bad things that happen to you. “Doesn’t that go against everything I have ever learned about improving myself?” you might ask. Well, let me tell you how I came to that conclusion.
Earlier this month I took one of those life-sustaining winter vacations out of cold New York and into the tropics. My destination was Oahu, Hawaii, where I was set to attend the Wanderlust Festival of music and Yoga, which was co-founded by my teacher Schuyler Grant. I also got a chance to catch up with my other teacher and mentor, Baron Baptiste.
It was when I was relaxing on the beach during some down time that I finally, really, noticed the ocean. Pulsating and vibrant like a community, it went from being a really large amount of salty water to millions of unique waves who just happened to be traveling with one another. Some were bigger and took up more space, but there weren’t any quarrels or wars. They were at peace – and so much peace is abundant in the ocean – so much, you can choose to take as much as you want with you.
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
This meditation on the sea had a dissolving effect on the accumulated tightness in my muscles and my mind. Is everybody on the beach enjoying this as much as I am? I wondered. I realized my perspective is unique only to me and it is always within my power to change perspective – so in a sense, it was possible to take responsibility for everything I witness. If I “blamed” myself, then I could fix myself. A little spiritual algebra.
If you are in a relationship and there are things that are not working in that relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friend, whatever it is, you can assume responsibility for the situation, even if it is not your “fault.” The real reason these things are happening is me…an unlikely mantra but one to consider.
As a welcome byproduct, you will find yourself inspired to go about things differently. You will put yourself in charge of your life instead of doing a lot of blaming and claiming. Your intuition will guide you to the things that make you feel good and and if something or someone bothers you, you will have a safe and speedy way of processing it.
And now you see how blaming yourself for everything that happens to you can be a perfectly healthy thing to do.
Denise K. Bonnaig, Esq.